July 19, 2014

New Start For A Gay Mormon








Where do I even begin? I am in Utah! That's a good place to start. There is no possible way to recap what has transpired over the last month and so I wont. There are a few things I do want to share—I am brave! I packed up my belongings and left more behind than I took. I moved over 850 miles to a new city to start a new life. I had no job and only a promise of rent for one month. I am the most risk adverse person I know, yet I risked it all. And I am proud to say, I made it.

I found a new job, which started this past week. I move into my new apartment next week. I have filmed a part of my story as a gay Mormon for a documentary called Far Between and exposed a part of my life I have hidden in shame and embarrassment for most of my life from those closest to me. I am socializing more now than at any point since my high school life. I am finally living a life created and molded by me. Not constructed by the pressures of family or church, but a model of what I want and what will make me happy.



I have joined some groups to meet more people and will join a choir too. I am taking active steps to put myself out there, exposed to the elements of socialization. I am allowing, in small doses, things I never would have dreamed of or allowed myself to do in Oregon.

I sounds like I am flying high and to some degree I am. But don't let my rhetoric fool you. I still face a lot of uncertainty and am quite scared. Socializing doesn't come easy for me. My work is full of knowledge I need to obtain quickly. Money will be tight. But hell, I can do it. I will do. It scares the hell out of me. But rewards must outweigh the risks.

Today, and over the past few days, I have been able to briefly meet some fellow MOHO bloggers. Some of them I have only known for a few months, some I remember from the beginning days of this blog. Those minutes will never be enough to absorb enough to know someone, but it has been thrilling to place actual live faces with screen names, avatars and URLs. I only wish I had more time to get to know each one of you. Hopefully that can still happen.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, so much excitement! It's nice to read a positive post like this since I'm about to similarly start a new phase of life, myself, in about ten days. I'm glad you're doing well and wish you the best in your new life!

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  2. I'm glad you've had a good experience so far. When something is meant to be things just work out so.

    Here's to all the good things that have happened to you and those to come still!
    Hugs,Miguel

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