December 19, 2013

Being Propositioned, Twitter and Duck Dynasty

A posting in three parts –

1- I was in Walmart today with my mom helping to do the last of the Christmas food shopping. We ran into a member of our ward and started talking with the wife as the husband was further down the isle. The conversation came around to me and she asked if I was dating. I said no, at which point she went on for the next five minutes trying to convince me to ask her daughter out. This conversation was one of the most awkward conversations I have had in a while. First, her daughter is 19 and I am 26. Secondly, I'm gay, which apparently she did not know. Lastly, why would you, as a mother, try to proposition a guy to ask your daughter out? I mean this was some hard-core lobbying on her part, it almost bordered on disgustingly creepy.

Instead of just saying, "no thank you, I'm gay", I just awkwardly laughed and avoided any committing comments. Finally her husband, hearing what his wife was doing, walked closer and closer, as if to pry his wife away.

I got to thinking tonight, why didn't I just tell her the reason, among several, I would never ask her daughter out. I thought, well I was with my mom, thats why I didn't say "I'm gay". My mom knows I'm gay, so that's not an excuse. Though it might make her uncomfortable to discuss that in-front of a ward member, that should not matter nor should it make my mom feel uncomfortable, but it does.

I began to realize that I am probably embarrassed to out myself in-front of a ward member. I don't know why, but I'm sure some of the stigma attached to the Mormon membership (and this member in particular who is more orthodox). I began to feel guilty that I was embarrassed to out myself to the member in the store with my mom present. That's something I need to work on.

2- I have an INSIDE Blog twitter account. I announce when new posts are up, comment on random gay Mormon events throughout the day, and even live tweeted a sunday school discussion on gay marriage at church. You should follow me—if you want to be cool that is.

3- I really dislike wading into pop culture events. I feel like our culture is too infatuated with celebrity and I believe it's a detriment to society. But I want to say two things on the this Duck Dynasty issue.

First I really appreciated this article from The author points out, aside from the horrible comments made, the reaction from the gay community is pretty disgusting itself. I felt this was an on point and fair take on the whole issue.

Secondly can we point out GQ's role in all this. For the GQ magazine (of which I am a subscriber) to ask this man his opinion of gay marriage, was really a gotcha question. They knew he wouldn't agree with gay marriage. They knew he has a religious view point. They knew they would get a comment they could use to stir controversy and sell more magazines. GQ in my opinion is using the gay community as a cheap marketing ploy. They really hold some blame and should be ashamed.


  1. 1. I get the uncomfortableness with just coming out and saying "I'm gay" to a ward member. I have felt it so many times. Even acknowledging to members who actually know I'm gay is very uncomfortable. In fact I find it much easier to say I'm an atheist. And frankly I believe many, if not most, LDS folks are much more comfortable with atheists than gays. The idea that being gay is shameful is so deeply ingrained in us by the church. It's not something that will go away easily, if ever. I suspect I will never be completely comfortable with it.

    2. I want to be cool.

    3. I'm too cheap to pay for cable/satellite so I know nothing of Duck Dynasty. But I suspect that the old adage is true - there's really no such think as bad publicity.

    1. It is really engrained. I want to work on changing that for myself.

  2. I'm sorry, did you write something? I was too distracted by Dylan O'Brien. ;)

    1. hahaha... Back off, he is my husband!