When I first moved back home I made a set of rules I wanted to abide by for attending church. These weren't demands, as much as lines of personal privacy I wanted to informally give the church and my parents.
I stated, "I do not wish to "repent" and find my way back into full fellowship. I do not wish to meet with the Bishop or any other church leader for "checking in" or any other type of sit down conversation... I thus would also not like to be visited by the missionaries as some sort of less active member.
What I want is to choose my level of engagement with church according to what my wants and needs are, not what the church's wants and needs are. I will choose whether I want to simply come to church and sit through meetings or whether I want anyone working with me".
I have never been called in by the Bishop to meet with him. The Bishop, who I consider a friend, of course talks with me in the hallways or before meetings but never in the capacity as my Bishop. I have appreciated this very much. I never stated this request to not meet him or anyone else though and I wonder why I have never been approached to meet with him.
I mentioned this to my father (who is the Stake President) one day, asking him if he said something to them about me or not. He said he never said anything except once. Apparently the YSA Bishop asked my father if I would be attending the Singles Ward and if I could be extended a calling as his Executive Secretary. My father said I wasn't interested in attending and couldn't hold a calling until I was willing to live certain commandments. But my father never talked to my actual Bishop.
He did state that my record shows I'm disfellowshipped and perhaps the Bishop (the old one and the new one) were both to apprehensive to approach me because of my father. Whatever the reason, I told my dad that I have appreciated being left alone and having church participation on my own terms.
Before the move back home I thought that I would only go to Sacrament Meeting, and skip the other two hours. That hasn't happened. I actually enjoy Sunday School and attended frequently. At first I went home before Elders Quorum, but sometime last year, I started staying for the third hour and have since continued.
I am not sure why I go, as I do not participate AT ALL. I don't speak, attend activities, sign the attendance sheet or anything else. Maybe I stay out of convenience (I drive my mom home from church and going home for about 45 minutes didn't make sense). Maybe the few good looking men in Elders Quorum providing eye candy subconsciously keep me there. I don't know, but nevertheless, I have been attending all three hours for a long time now.
Honestly, I enjoy church. I enjoy seeing people and socializing with people there who matter to me. I plan to continue going. Though I don't see myself going to church when I move to Salt Lake City next summer (2014).
Going to a new ward, where I don't know anyone, and have no history with the members or Bishop doesn't appeal to me. I do not plan to attend church when I move to Utah. Honestly, that doesn't bother me either.
I am happy, and am enjoying this level of church attendance, "I just want to come, and enjoy church my way". I have enjoyed church my way, and it has been wonderful. Going to Institute has been interesting and I will explain why next...