December 2, 2012

Mom and Dad, I have a Boyfriend...


So the relationship is amazing. I never knew feelings like these could exist for another person. But they do, and I love it, and I love him. So now comes the time to tell my parents. I have questioned the timing of when to tell my parents but the worry of "hurting" them seem to be trumped by wanting to share my utter joy and be honest with them.

I am after all an adult.

So the time quickly approches where I share that this guy they know as my friend, is really my boyfriend and I love him.

Do any of you have advice on what to say, where to say it or timing of telling them? This is new to me and I can use some counsel.


UPDATE 12/1/2012

Well I told my parents tonight about my boyfriend. It went a little worse than I expected but nothing like the doomsday experience I had planned in the worse case scenario. I guess everything they said was expected, but I had hoped there would be a little more love and acceptance, than persuasion and doubt.

I stood my ground well, defended my feelings and thoughts and desires, and reiterated my points often. But so did they. We ended with me saying I would seriously consider what they said and asked me to do (a test of the BOM of sorts) and me telling them I will continue to see my boyfriend such.

Seriously nothing much else can happen until I move out on my own again. DAMN you college tuition and economy from preventing that right now.

Im to exhausted and tired to go into more depth right now. Sorry.


  1. I've got absolutely no advice... but props to you sir. good luck.

  2. Thanks. I added an update of how it went.

  3. Aww, I'm sorry it didn't go as well as you had hoped, but I'm glad that you stood your ground on continuing to see your boyfriend. It's like your parents are throwing a tantrum because they can't get what they want (you being straight), and tantrums are best handled with firmness and love. You can "consider" whatever options they try to give you, while showing that your relationship is good for you. Obviously, I don't know the particulars of your family, but if you continue to keep your boyfriend in conversation, telling them when he's made you happy or been supportive of you, your parents may come to realize how content you are. Every parent likes to see their son happy, even if it goes against other convictions.

  4. Congrats on telling your parents and on standing your ground.

  5. My parents had a very flat response when I first told them about Brian and when I told them we were engaged... they didn't condemn me or say they didn't support my decision, but they didn't really show any positive emotion either. Even when they first met him, they didn't come off as too thrilled.

    But I can now that they want to be more accepting and I think they can tell that I am happy and that I am putting thought into the relationship.

    I also think for some Mormon parents, it can be tougher to accept the fact that their gay and lesbian kids start dating others of the same sex. My parents handled my coming out way better than when I told them I was dating.

    It may just take some time. And it's better that they know than not. They may just need to warm up to the idea.

  6. I've been reading your blog for a few years. I'm excited to see you take this step, and have the courage to live the life you want to live.


  7. @ Evan - You are right. Little doses of showing them how happy I am will help. Thanks

    @ Dean - Thank you.

    @ Evan - Time seems to always help things. I can hope that one day my parents will be as accepting as yours are with you and Brian. I know your's aren't perfect, but for a strong Mormon family, I think they do pretty well.

    @ Kurt - Always nice to know of people who follow the blog. Thank you.