I had decided not to inform my parents of every man I met for really one reason. I knew that it would break their heart. They don't want me being with a man, and the realization of my choice would be devastating. This is why I determined I would only do it with the one. That one guy who I would spend the rest of my life with, the one who would have my heart completely, would be the one I would break their heart with. Better to only hurt them once, instead of every new beau who wicked me away into his false emotional web. I would wait for the true love of my life and hurt my parents only once, but for the right guy.
Now that I am with this guy I now I must go slow. I know I must not rush into things prematurely. But this guy does amazing things to me. Do I dare admit I'm falling in love...
While I am not ready to immediately or even in the next few weeks, introduce him to my family, the scene is already being blocked out in my mind (blocked in the theatrical sense of the meaning).
These pre-blocking thoughts have been a consistant prediction of forth coming events through out my life.
"Coming out has been an interesting process in retrospect. I can always point to pivotal coming out times in my life, and trace it back to a simple thought about the act. I first thought about having to come out to my father when I was still at BYU-I. I had never had that thought cross my mind before, and quickly dismissed it as a no-go. Three months later I came out to him. I had the very random and odd thought of coming out to my sister, which was such a far stretch idea I laughed at it. Five months later, I came out to my siblings. Early last spring I wondered what it would be like to come out on Facebook and have my "Interested In" read MEN. I quickly brushed the idea out of my head as a "never going to happen" thought. Then last month, I became "Interested In MEN" (officially on Facebook)."Taken from my blog about coming out on Facebook.
So obviously the thoughts in my head as to how I would tell my parents I'm in a relationship are a precursor to doing it in reality. It scares me, but also excites me.
I tell this guy that he makes me so happy, and I'm sad that I can't share this happiness with my family. It shouldn't be this way. I should be able to share my joy with my family no matter what the joy is coming from. I know in the end, they will disapprove of my relationship, but will come to accept him and our being together.
Let me be clear, its still a beginning relationship—but I feel it could last forever.