Be careful when you say "anything" - you might not like what you get. But nothing to worry amount from me!
You may have covered this in other posts (the length of my memory is roughly equivalent to the life span of a fruit fly), but do you have siblings (I'm guessing yes) and how have they reacted to you sexual orientation?
Do you find acceptance for being gay from your family friends changing the longer you have been out? It seems to ebb and flow with me. Some who initially were not as supportive are more supportive while others who accepted it well at first are drawing away. Thanks.
ControllerOne: Do you have siblings (I'm guessing yes) and how have they reacted to you sexual orientation?
Answer:
Yes I am the youngest of six. Much of their reactions are similar to how they reacted when I first came out to them.
Brother 1- He was visiting Brother #2 when I sent the e-mail to my siblings saying I was gay. He called me the same evening and spoke to me first. He told me he loved me, and always will, and that my being gay made no difference to him. Since then he has never made any issue with it, or really asked me about it. It's a non issue so far.
Sister 1- She called me that same evening too. She also said she loved me and always will. She asked if maybe when if her dressing me up in clothes (boy clothes) and doing fashion shoots with her made me gay. I laughed. She asks me frequently where I am with things, (being gay, church, etc). She doesn't quiet understand things and wonders why I can't just stay in the church fully and be content. She is trying to understand but just can't quiet comprehend things.
Brother 2- Got on the phone after Brother 1 and told me he also loved me and always will. He said he isn't sure he quiet follows the church on certain social issues and told me if he were gay, he would find someone and be happy. He told me he wants me to be happy. Very open with things.
Sister 2- I told her a year previous when I told my parents, but only because she too is gay. So she congratulated me on coming out and asked how the others were responding.
Brother 3- He didn't call me that night. In fact I didn't hear from him until a few days later. But he didn't mention anything about my coming out. It was just same old conversation as if nothing happened. I asked another sibling if he got the e-mail and they said yes because he had mentioned it to them.
Brother 3 came to stay the night with me once on a trip and I asked him as we were falling asleep if he got my e-mail. He said yes. I asked why he didn't talk to me about it. He told me he didn't see a need to. If I know the church was true I'd follow it, no questions necessary. He has since been a little more understanding and asked a few questions, but it is still a subject we don't bring up.
Dean Scott: Do you find acceptance for being gay from your family/friends changing the longer you have been out? Thanks.
Answer:
It is an interesting question that I have not, until now, sat down to really consider. I could say yes, there is some surface level improvement of acceptance. However in the overall grand scheme of things, things have stayed the same as when I came out.
There are some in my family and friends who are ok with me being gay and everything that it entails. There are some who want me to stay true to the Gospel and its teachings. They will accept me and what ever I do, but there is an underlying hope or assumption that I will, at some point, return to full activity in the church.
It would not be fair to leave the answer at that. I must interject and say that I have not given family or friends an opportunity to show a change in acceptance. I what I mean by that is I have not brought home a boyfriend. I have not publicly questioned the church. I have not done anything to give them a chance to show acceptance or disapproval. So until that time comes, where I can see where each person truly stands when faced with a decision of acceptance or disapproval, I cannot give a definite answer.
I forgot to thank you for your response. I think my sister who is drawing away did so because I resigned from the church even though I did not have a boyfriend and was not having sex with anyone. I had not been active for 15 years but the resignation put a final nail on the coffin as far as church goes. She has reassured me that she will always love me and each of my siblings say they want to meet my man when I find my man.
Be careful when you say "anything" - you might not like what you get. But nothing to worry amount from me!
ReplyDeleteYou may have covered this in other posts (the length of my memory is roughly equivalent to the life span of a fruit fly), but do you have siblings (I'm guessing yes) and how have they reacted to you sexual orientation?
Do you find acceptance for being gay from your family friends changing the longer you have been out? It seems to ebb and flow with me. Some who initially were not as supportive are more supportive while others who accepted it well at first are drawing away. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteControllerOne:
ReplyDeleteDo you have siblings (I'm guessing yes) and how have they reacted to you sexual orientation?
Answer:
Yes I am the youngest of six. Much of their reactions are similar to how they reacted when I first came out to them.
Brother 1- He was visiting Brother #2 when I sent the e-mail to my siblings saying I was gay. He called me the same evening and spoke to me first. He told me he loved me, and always will, and that my being gay made no difference to him. Since then he has never made any issue with it, or really asked me about it. It's a non issue so far.
Sister 1- She called me that same evening too. She also said she loved me and always will. She asked if maybe when if her dressing me up in clothes (boy clothes) and doing fashion shoots with her made me gay. I laughed. She asks me frequently where I am with things, (being gay, church, etc). She doesn't quiet understand things and wonders why I can't just stay in the church fully and be content. She is trying to understand but just can't quiet comprehend things.
Brother 2- Got on the phone after Brother 1 and told me he also loved me and always will. He said he isn't sure he quiet follows the church on certain social issues and told me if he were gay, he would find someone and be happy. He told me he wants me to be happy. Very open with things.
Sister 2- I told her a year previous when I told my parents, but only because she too is gay. So she congratulated me on coming out and asked how the others were responding.
Brother 3- He didn't call me that night. In fact I didn't hear from him until a few days later. But he didn't mention anything about my coming out. It was just same old conversation as if nothing happened. I asked another sibling if he got the e-mail and they said yes because he had mentioned it to them.
Brother 3 came to stay the night with me once on a trip and I asked him as we were falling asleep if he got my e-mail. He said yes. I asked why he didn't talk to me about it. He told me he didn't see a need to. If I know the church was true I'd follow it, no questions necessary.
He has since been a little more understanding and asked a few questions, but it is still a subject we don't bring up.
Dean Scott:
Do you find acceptance for being gay from your family/friends changing the longer you have been out? Thanks.
Answer:
It is an interesting question that I have not, until now, sat down to really consider. I could say yes, there is some surface level improvement of acceptance. However in the overall grand scheme of things, things have stayed the same as when I came out.
There are some in my family and friends who are ok with me being gay and everything that it entails. There are some who want me to stay true to the Gospel and its teachings. They will accept me and what ever I do, but there is an underlying hope or assumption that I will, at some point, return to full activity in the church.
It would not be fair to leave the answer at that. I must interject and say that I have not given family or friends an opportunity to show a change in acceptance. I what I mean by that is I have not brought home a boyfriend. I have not publicly questioned the church. I have not done anything to give them a chance to show acceptance or disapproval. So until that time comes, where I can see where each person truly stands when faced with a decision of acceptance or disapproval, I cannot give a definite answer.
I forgot to thank you for your response. I think my sister who is drawing away did so because I resigned from the church even though I did not have a boyfriend and was not having sex with anyone. I had not been active for 15 years but the resignation put a final nail on the coffin as far as church goes. She has reassured me that she will always love me and each of my siblings say they want to meet my man when I find my man.
ReplyDelete