June 23, 2012

My Gay Life Adjustments

In case you didn't hear let me just spread the embarrassment a little more, I'm moving back home with my parents until I graduate from school. YAY for being a statistic! So this unfortunate event is having me re-evaluate two aspects of my life. My past two years of inactivity, and my life as a open gay guy.

Since moving to Portland just shy of three years ago, I have come out a lot. All of my close friends know. New friends are informed if the subject comes up. All of my immediate family knows. My Facebook "interested in" is set to men, and I occasionally say things online that can be understood to be gay.

I do NOT wear rainbow attire or march in Pride. I do not forcefully push an agenda at family dinners, nor do I spout anti-church talking points because I choose not to go to church anymore. These things are not in my nature or interest anyways.

Needless to say, I have come out quite a bit. Now, when faced with moving back in with my parents, I do not intend to take steps back into the closet. I intend to continue living my life the way I normally would live life having a roommate. I do see, however, that living with my parents presents some new opportunities of coming out.

Occasionally discussions of a gay theme occur with my folks, but for the most part it is not a focus of conversation topic. I appreciate this, as being gay is not my entire life. However, I feel as though sometimes the subject of gay issues is intentionally avoided. I smile away the comments referencing a hope of me ending up with a woman. I silently pass on the opportunity to comment on a news story of a gay issue. I, myself, avoid any gay conversation. I feel like now, living with my parents is a time where I can open up the dialogue and also open up the future.

Just like we are taught in the church, simple comments about the church or gospel with friends can open up a missionary opportunity. Simple comments on gay topics can open up the acceptance and openness of my impending (hopefully) relationship with a man.

By planting seeds now, seeds of acceptance, openness and dialogue, I might be able to soften the emotional blow and spiritual hurdles that would arise when I bring home my future soul mate.


  1. I like your attitude. I think that treating it just like missionary work, as you say, is the right way to go with it. It's a good comparison. In both cases people can take it or leave it, but you give them the best opportunity to accept by inoffensively bringing it up and being a good example.

  2. Thanks Trev. I do feel like it is the best way for m situation, and also for who I am.