July 8, 2011

Preferring to be a Bachelor

Sometimes I wonder if I am going to be single the rest of my life. Sometimes I hope I am. I'm sure at some point in all moho's coming out experience we think we could be celibate the rest of our lives and make it being faithful in the church. For most that thought doesn't last long. I know I have had those thoughts here and there over the past few years (though not recently). That is no longer a path I would choose to entertain. I do however fantasize and even hope I remain a bachelor the rest of my life.

I am a very independent person when it comes to making life decisions. I don't like working in groups on projects, because I want things my way. When I was dating GQ, I told him he wasn't allowed to do the dishes, because he would do them the wrong way (not my way) and I would end up doing them once he left anyways. I have control issues to say the least. I understand a relationship is about giving up on selfish habits and all that ooey gooey stuff, but I don't really desire that.

I love to dream about having my craftsman style home and all my furniture and my design studio, and the appliances and hardware in my kitchen. Everything that I envision is mine. Not someone else's, and not shared. I love envisioning that home of mine, and I don't feel bad or sad about being a bachelor in it. In wanting to be single, isn't to say Im shunning sex, I love sex, and I think sex with someone close to you is very important. However, the whole relationship aspect doesn't appeal to me right.

Perhaps with meeting a remarkable bloke and falling in love that will change, but honestly its not something I am hoping for. Right now I am perfectly content and excited even to have it just be me.


  1. I totally understand this one. Right now whenever I think about dating, I feel like "Meh..."

  2. OMG I was gonna write this same exact blog post. I think of my future and I am single with my house and things my way. I thought if I was to actually get into a LTR we'd live in separate houses. I am to OCD and like things done my way. Dating just doesn't appeal to me like it use to. I am so glad I am not alone in this thinking

  3. @Grant- For me its not a displeasure of dating, its a desire to be self dependent. I love dating and being with someone, but I think I'm just not hardwired for it.

    @Vegas- It's always nice to know your thoughts are normal, and others feel the way you do. Glad I could do that for you!

  4. I'm going to go out on a limb here and possibly interject for what some might not agree on. You're a young guy, early or mid 20's? That's the age when you're supposed to be selfish, self-centered, learning what makes you click and yes everything is about you (of course not if you're taking the LDS church path which by now you'd be married and working on your 2nd child) so enjoy this time, learn, travel, be selfish (read have lots of naughty sex!), and experience.

    Who knows when you're in your 30's or older your mind might change and by then you will for sure will know what makes you tick and have the life experience to know why you like what you do--no rush here, you have your entire life ahead of you to adapt. I have no scientific basis for what I say, other than being a middle aged fool who goes around the internet and gives unsolicited advice, he, he,he....

  5. @ Miguel– This is true. Our culture provides us with an early time table of settling down. This is very possibly a normal 24 yr old mindset. Only time can tell.