May 27, 2011

A New Course

I often find it difficult to find things to share here. This blog has always been a source to divulge my thoughts and feelings relating to the portions of my life where being gay and being Mormon intersect. I try to keep those things very separate in my life and that has always limited the experiences I have to share here. I suppose, now that I think about it, that keeping those things separate is actually a bad idea. Maybe that is why I feel like I have not made any progress in that area of my life, namely being gay and being Mormon.

A few weeks ago I almost changed my "info" section on Facebook to show that I was gay. This urging was brought on by the self outing of Don Lemon (which is a post Im currently writing). However I decided against my self outing because of family concerns and also because once you're out, theres no going back in the closet.

This time in my life is really kind of opening my mind to new paths. Not leaving the church type of paths, but new ways to be who I am. Being more open that I am a walking oxymoron, a mormon, a gay and a hardcore conservative. Talk about ultimate minorities!

Anyways, Im not sure what the purpose of this post was, but it sorta helped me sort out what has been going on in my head. So thank you me.

6 comments:

  1. We all take little steps out... We all eventually stop compartmentalizing so much. Trust yourself. If you are not ready to show on Facebook that you are gay that is ok, don't beat yourself up about it. BUT I'm convinced that as some point if the compartmentalization does not stop happiness is not possible. (I'm making generalizations here, not talking to you specifically if that makes sense.) It is all a process...

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  2. It does make sense, thanks. I suppose another reason I don't want to come out on Facebook, is because I dont want to answer questions from all my 64 cousins lol.

    But like you said, in time.

    Actually come to think of it, this is how I decided to come out to my siblings. It started as a thought I quickly dismissed. Two months later the e-mail was sent.

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  3. It's definitely a process. I've used my blog also to keep the gay side of myself separate from the rest of my life. Now that I'm out to a few people, I've found less of a need to blog, but it's still there. I know it's there as a place where I can, if need be, express myself without offending anyone in my life.

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  4. It is a process. Its great you have your blog as a place to let out some of your thoughts you otherwise couldn't share.

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