January 7, 2011

My Quarter Life Crisis

There is so much in my head that I can't put into type, so this audio is just me talking about my thoughts.

There has been something that has always bothered me. I don't know who I am.

I know who I want to be. I want to live in Washington D.C. and work as a political graphic designer. I want to have a partner and live in a condo. I want to be known, and loved, and be happy. But there is a slight problem, I don't know who I am. I suppose this is my young life identity crisis, but this has been my feeling for many years.

I should have more hobbies. I should be more happy with my life. I just feel like I am nothing, in the grand picture. I am not like the people I see on TV or the movies. I know that those lives are fake and made up, but even when I look at my friends, they seem to have those kind of lives. Why don't I feel like I am living?

Who am I?

This isn't a doctrinal question. This is a earth, reality question.

Am I alone in this feeling, and it's something I need to work on, or is this a common feeling for everyone?


  1. Totally normal. It happens when you start to create your own life apart from your family. You've been away and in college for a couple years and you are getting to the point where you are more and more in charge of mapping out your own life. Wait until you graduate and you realize life doesn't just magically happen like you once thought it would when you reach adulthood.

    This is where it gets fun though. When you realize you don't know who you are, you can begin to start creating who you are. :)

  2. I sooooo relate to this post. I may have to write a longer response after I think about it for awhile.

    I agree with JonJon - this is a totally normal phase that could last years... If you don't want this phase to last for years you need to take active steps to stop it.

    Much of what you are talking about had to do with a kind of "should I" or "supposed to" way of thinking. There really are fewer things that fall into supposed to and should catagories than we think.

    Ultimately you are in charge and if you don't like how things are going change, make different decisions. Making different decisions means sitting down and considering what direction or new thing you are going to do. You mention cooking. You really can't just walk into the grocery store deciding to make new things if you have not chosen recipes and made a grocery list. (I recommend getting on allrecipies.com and taking a look around. Try so Spanish rice, or taco soup, or lasagna...)

    The desire to be "normal" goes away once you are engaged in things that you really like. Though I still feel this from time to time I recognize that this feeling of being in limbo is really my own responsibility.

  3. After reading Kiley's comment, I was reminded of a session I had once with my counselor. She recommended making a list. In hindsight, it was actually just a bucket list, but she told me to make a list of anything and everything I had ever wanted to try but never did because I didn't think I could do it or because it was outside of the realm of what I thought I "should" be doing or what I thought others would expect of me. Then she told me to take a few months to explore an item on the list and then to keep going through the list, exploring and discovering who I am and what I like and don't like in the process. The real me emerges and like Kiley said, when you start doing what you like and what really resonates with you, the desire to be normal or to fit in slowly fades away.

  4. Thank you both! That gives me some good places to start!

  5. Just don't hide part of yourself in the closet forever.... Thats part of the dilemma.