October 16, 2010

Opening the Dialogue

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If you know me, you know I am a political wing nut! I love politics. I love studying, learning, following, and discussing politics. I have had the urge soooooooo much to do political posts on this blog. However, I have refrained from it because I know it will cause to much anger, and this really isn't my political blog. So I am going to create a political blog. Don't worry I'll share the link when its up.

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I had the Elders over today and they brought a ward missionary (they came cause I'm on the less active list now from the bishop). Anyways, the girl they brought with them is one of my friends sister. He is gay, and has told me a bit about her. To be discrete, lets just say that she wanted to marry a guy, even though he was gay. He broke it off. She was crushed. Blah blah blah. (Blah's because the rest of the info isn't important, not because the situation isn't serious).

We were talking about sin and repenting. It was mentioned that sometimes God gives us challenges and how they can be hard, but we can overcome them. I mentioned that not all "temptations" are meant or can be overcome, and some we just have to live with. This was an agreeable statement with all. At which point this girl shared that she has a lot of friends that "struggle with something" (code for being gay), and how she doesn't understand why they have to bear that, and how its unfair. Without her or the missionaries knowing I am gay, I agreed.

Ok now the reason I brought this up was that the more members are able to have interaction with good Mormon gays, the more the situation becomes real to them. Right now a majority of Mormons are exposed to the angry gay anti-Mormons or ex-Mormons. There is nothing there to form a strong connection with. When members realize that there are good, gay Mormons who are struggling and honestly trying to live the gospel (but struggling), then the dialogue and healing can begin.

Now members only see the ex-Mormons who picket outside the temple, who yell and shout "bigot", or "hate" in their face. What we need to really bring about a honest and productive dialogue is those gay members who are trying. Who are genuine in their love for the church, not the ex-members who want their fellow members to leave the God forsaken church. Change will not come in the church with these people.

I am not saying ex-Mormons are evil, or rude, or anything else. I'm saying members can't relate to them. I'm saying it takes a close, deep relationship to open the honest dialogue. For example, I have two friends who only know one gay Mormon, heck even one gay for that matter. That one is me. They know me, they know I love the church but they can see me struggle. My BFF has defended gays when her dad said something hateful. She told him, "One of my best friends is gay and a member, and If you knew about him, you would cry for saying that." (I am very close to her family and they would know me and who I am and what I truly stand for.) Knowing me and knowing I am gay would help them to begin to see that "we" do exist and it is a real matter. Thus opening a honest dialogue.

I am going to try to do a better job with opening the dialogue for people who know me, but don't know I'm gay. This is where it can, and should begin.

3 comments:

  1. Interesting thoughts, and I agree. Of course, lots of church members know gay people, they just don't realize that they know them. Sometimes I wish I could go back to church and be that example, but I can only see that road leading to the pain of excommunication.

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  2. "What we need to really bring about a honest and productive dialogue is those gay members who are trying. Who are genuine in their love for the church, not the ex-members who want their fellow members to leave the God forsaken church. Change will not come in the church with these people. I am not saying ex-Mormons are evil, or rude, or anything else. I'm saying members can't relate to them. I'm saying it takes a close, deep relationship to open the honest dialogue."

    You are so, so right.

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  3. So very true. I think that in general, knowing someone in person and actually liking them is the best cure for prejudices and misunderstandings. It holds for homosexuality, different religions, race, etc. My personal experience only confirms that.

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