June 22, 2010

Parents, Girl friend, Wife, or Yourself

These are the options I was given today at work, when asked the question who I live with. I mentioned I started a new job last week at work. This has put me around new people, and new experiences, but also starts the getting to know you period. There is one maintenance tech who I have started to form a good friendship with. Although it did take me by surprise that he slipped into the conversation he jacked off everyday. (btw it was kinda a joke)

Well today he asked me if I lived with my parents, girl friend, wife or myself. I told the truth and said myself. No reason to lie on that one! However, I have been asked by an older gentleman If I was married or dating a girl, and I said no. Not a lie, but not the full truth. I began thinking today, what if I said something like, "there is a guy I have a crush on." or "Im going on a date with a guy tonight."

I would not be fired, cause that would scream lawsuit (even though I would not sue). However it would cause (I think) isolation. And I don't want that at a place I need to work at for three more years. So for now I continue to smile and say, "nope, no girlfriend."

I assume when I grow a closer relationship with individuals I will open up to them, but there is no point now.

I wanna hear from you!
Are you out at work? How did you decide the time was right to let it out. Have you ever been harassed or isolated at work because you are gay?


  1. I am out at work... and love being out at work. I think it is easier because I work with almost 100 percent women. And, in the fall I will be the only adult male in the whole school.

    I don't talk with everyone about it on a one to one basis. But, it is talked about in the staff room. The other day everyone was looking at hair swirls and finger lengths to see who was gay and who was not.

    I even have pictures of my boyfriend up in my classroom. I teach grade 2.

    That being said, I also live in Canada. I think it means that things are different. I know they are different. We even have in our staff room a poster that says: "That's so gay is so yesterday." to remind teachers about bullying and sexuality.

  2. I actually totally agree with you on this one. We shouldn't feel obligated to delve into the depths of our personal lives every time someone asks us a casual question. At the same time, I do like to be open and honest with my friends.

    Am I out at work? Yes and no. Since I'm at a new job every few weeks it really depends on the people I'm working with. I have one job where there are several people who are severely homophobic so I'm not in any hurry to change things there. I have another job where there are several members of the church that I have actually tried to indirectly out myself too. Honestly, after 4+ years of never dating anyone you would think people would get the clue and stop asking.

    And of course, there are several other jobs where I am out to people, and it hasn't affected work at all.

  3. @Devin - Canada is much more open about that stuff. Im quite surprised about the picture of your boyfriend in class though.. wow.

    @El Genio - You say that as if we never agree :) I agree though, we don't have to spill our selfs to everyone, every time they ask a simple question.

  4. I am definitely not out at work. It is the one place where I am still in the closet and it hurts to lie about it. But then I realize it isn't their business and just use non-gender pronouns. Ah Non-gender pronouns I could sing an ode to theme

  5. Non gender pronouns are usually good, but everyone always wants to know details... especially when its a bunch of guys...