March 25, 2010

The Big A

Well, I met with my Stake President last night. I was very worried that he was going to tell me we needed to consider ex-communication (read this post, its short!)

First off I should tell you a bit about our first meeting, back before I was disfellowshiped by a bishopric council. We met so he could determine at what level I needed to face church discipline. He listened to my story, and figuratively slapped me with reality. He bore testimony to me, and then when it was time to part, he gave me a long hug. I'd guess probably 30 seconds, where he just hugged me. It was a genuine hug, not one of the little squeezes with a pat on the back. This was like a prodigal son type of full embrace with emotion behind it. He told me several times he loved me and thought I was a good guy. (NO HOMO lol)

This time he invited me in his office, and said he hasn't talked to me in a while, and just wanted to touch base and see how things were going with me.

"Phew, I thought I was gonna be punished" I thought to myself.

I tried to be brutally honest with him. I told him were I was at. He listened and offered a suggestion that he had thought about earlier. That we meet to work through a book together often. I agreed, thinking, "why not."

The only thing about the meeting I didn't like was while we were reading the book he did more talking about the book. When he did ask me questions it was more like, "Do you understand what they mean," instead of, "how do you feel about that," or "what does that mean to you."

I told him at the end of the meeting I would continue to meet with him, but I wanted him to know I wanted to be 100% honest with him, and not just give him the answers he wanted to hear. I wanted to tell him honestly, were I was at, and not be punished for it. I also told him, if I decide to come back and repent I want it to be for the right reasons, and not just to do it. I told him, I wanted to take my time right now and figure things out for myself.

He agreed that was the best thing, and thanked me for not BS'ing him (not his exacted words). He said he wanted me to be honest, and that could mean we work on things for 5 years, or 1 year, but that it was important that I make real progress, rather than fake.

On my leaving he again gave me a hug, and told me how much he admired me. I walked away with a great respect for my Stake President. Aside from the one thing I disliked about the meeting, I felt like he was there for me, and not for himself, and I appreciated that.


  1. What book? I hope it's not the one I fear. The one they always seem to use.

  2. I am glad if you do go back you will do it for you and the right reasons. I also think you being 100% honest with them is the best. I wish you the best my friend. :)

  3. @Rob
    Addiction booklet (he said it isnt because I have an addiction, but the steps it goes through work for any person who wants to repent).

    @Moho Vegas
    Thank man. I even told my pops IF I came back I would do it slowly, and he thought it was a good idea.... Now just do I want to come back or not lol.

  4. Good, at least it's not "Miracle of Forgiveness." Even Spencer Kimball said later in his life that he "may have been too harsh" in that book, yet so many local leaders continue to hand it out when people are most vulnerable. Like lemon juice on a paper cut. Glad you were spared that.