February 22, 2010

Two Down, Two To Go

Well, I sent out the letter. I had to wait for my BFF to call me and give me my final words of encouragement, before I could press send.

Pressing send was like cliff diving. You go and stand on the edge of the cliff, looking down at the water below. You want to jump, its just taking that first leap that is so difficult. Well, after "send" was pressed, the waiting game began.

My oldest sibling (brother) and his wife are visiting my 3rd oldest sibling (brother) and his wife. After about 30 minuets I saw the 3rd oldest name come online on gmail. I knew this was the moment of truth. After about 15 min. the chat box popped up.

"How are you."

I had to laugh, obviously this was an ice breaker.

"Good. How are you." I responded.

He then proceeded to tell me he read my letter, and loved me no matter what, and will always love me no matter what. He said he has always, and will always hold me in high regard. (He and his wife have become very good friends with my gay uncle and his partner, and so I knew it wouldn't have been a devastating impact).
My oldest sibling got on and said that he too loved me and always will. They were in the room upstairs reading the letter and talking about it, and said they would go downstairs and tell their wives.

I had written in the e-mail that I preferred my siblings to read it first, then spouses. (gotta have some perks for sharing blood and DNA right?!)

They both said that they would call me tomorrow so we could talk.

Two down, two to go.

Who is left to hear from. My 2nd oldest sibling (sister, who I am pretty sure already knows). Lastly, my 5th sibling (brother). This brother is the one I am the closest too. He is right above me in age, and took my sisters (4th sibling) coming out years ago very rough. He is very "homophobic" (although I hate that word and term) he just doesn't get gay's.

I fear his reaction most, however, with everyone else's support I know he will come around to being comfortable with me, even if he (or anyone else) never supports what ever choice I may make.

So I will let you know how the last two go.


  1. Awesome. I, too, have the goal of writing a letter to my family sometime this year (I'm not in a hurry, but hopefully sooner rather than later). I'm out, or rather allowed myself to be outed, to my parents and a couple of siblings, but we've never talked about it and there are huge walls in place that are affecting my relationship with them. I'm hoping coming out on my own terms to everyone will help :)

  2. Congratulations and good luck, I know that although this bit of the experience is nerve-racking and stressful, eventually it will bring so much more peace in your life not feeling you need hide the truth from those you love.