October 7, 2009
Life is full of choices, and demands on our time. We have complete control over how we spend our days, from what job we took, to what we do in our free time.
How much does being gay (others call it having SSA), consume your life?
I have been thinking a lot about this lately, hearing people talk about the burden of being attracted to your same sex and how its weighing down on their shoulders. I have often felt this burden, and have felt that weight so much it feels as if I scrapping along on the floor because of the massive weight. Often I wonder, how much do I put into my attraction to men?
Yes I notice men everyday walking down the street, and there are a lot here. Yes when I hear a comment about gay culture or gay this and that, It jogs my memory. With that being said, I have a lot on my plate, ranging from homework, to making friends, and so on and so forth. My amount of gay consumption is very low, and it is a great benefit to me.
Being attracted to the same gender does not define who I am. I have a lot of other stellar (my new favorite word) qualities that need attention, if not more so than my attractions. Now I am in no way saying that if you focus on other things your attractions will go away, not one bit, but what I am saying is I'm not going to let the gay thoughts overrun my system.
Letting my gay consumption run higher than 10% on normal days and through out life would be detrimental to my health (in a matter of speaking). Being gay does not define me, it is a small part of a larger whole of who I am as a being.
I have so many other stellar (hehe) qualities that trump my attractions, that I don't want to be known as the gay guy. I want to be known more by my kindness, talents, and dreams, with a side of who I like.
I have a friend from high school who is also gay, and we had this conversation a while ago. He told me being gay defines everything he does. It is who he is. I find that very disturbing. While I applaud his confidence in his sexuality I weep with his throwing away of his complete identity.
(I want to start a new thing to get conversations rolling)
Whats your Gay Consumption level in your life right now?
Where would you like it to be?