October 30, 2009


It seems like whenever I post a question on If I should do something on this blog, I go out and do it anyways.

I told my future (still) roommate I like men.

Here is how it went...

We had hung out all evening, doing shopping since 1 pm. We walked into a McDonalds at 7:30pm and he bought me an ice cream cone, I bought him something yesterday, and sat down and watch CNN on the TV. It was on a report of an alleged racial discrimination case, which got us talking about racial discrimination. That quickly turned into gay marriage.

I had eluded in previous conversations I have many gay friends and such and so we spent the next 3 hours discussing gays, swirling around if attractions to the same sex was real or made up. (You, of course, know my position).

We ended up walking to a park bench, where we talked in circles for three hours. We never once took anything personal or got angry or upset with one another, we were simply having a genuine, honest debate (something politicians in DC should try!). After wards I told him I have experience with people who are close to me that are gay, that gives me an added perspective to approach the subject. He admitted he didn't. After silence and a little chit chat about how he still wonders why I don't want to be dating girls right now, I felt the time was right.

He sad, "I want to understand why you aren't bothered to date girls."

"Are you sure you want to know?" I asked.

He responded, "Yes"

So I told him why. His first response was, "I thought you might."

(I really love people's first response, it tells a lot about them and the relationship I have with them. I laughed, and so did he. We then talked about my position with the church and my attraction to men, and many other things.

He assured me he still wanted to be my roommate, which was a great sigh of relief for me. We then contiuned talking for two more hours about me, him, and other related topics. He asked If rooming with him would be a problem, in relation to, was I attracted to him. I was honest and said, "You are really attractive, but you are my friend, and I couldn't develop those feelings for you because you are my friend, and I know it can't go anywhere."

He even asked about out plans to hang out tomorrow, so I know he won't stop hanging out with me, although he is disappointed I don't wanna scope out girls with him. He said he liked the challenge of having to fight me for a girl, which wont happen now.

He did also say, and I find this a common thing among people I tell, that he feels a greater friendship with me now, and a deeper sense of awe for what have to go through. I appreciated that.

So, right now all appears well, between my future roommate and I, and now things are open and honest. Which is how I like them.


  1. Dude, you're an awesome example! I don't have an ounce of the courage you have.

  2. Quinn -

    Glad to hear that your conversation with your friend/roommate went well. Sounds like you have a really great friend there.

    I agree with Boskers. You are a great example for so many out there who are having a hard time dealing with who they are and letting in the ones they love. Your courage and willingness to share your journey will help so many more than anyone may ever know. Keep it up!

    Have a great weekend.

  3. Good for you. Things have changed so much since I was your age. Isn't itnice to just have it out there so you don't have to fret over it?

  4. Wow, Quinn, that's great! I admire both your courage and your roommate's openness.
    For me at least, this is a very hope-inspiring story!

  5. Brave man--way to go. Watch out, he might tempt you on purpose for fun.

  6. Glad to hear it went well! The aftermath can be a little dicey, as reality sets in. Hopefully it'll continue to be a good thing. I'm a pretty strong believer in being up front when there's a room-sharing situation. Most people would want to know that and probably have a right to know, in my opinion. Of course, there were days when I wouldn't tell my roommate, but those days are in the past. :-)

  7. man, you've got a lot of courage!

  8. Congrats! That's wonderful. Glad he reacted so well.