July 6, 2009

Coming out to my BFF

I have known J since birth. As far back as I can remember, I remember her. For most of my life I knew I would marry her. We have always been close, and everyone around us knew that we were inseparable. She was a constant letter writer on my mission. I think you get the idea.

Well after the mish, we talked at length and determined that a relationship of anything past friends is not for us, and I was ok with it. Well J had been going through some rough things in her life when I was on my mission and she finally told me about them last fall. I was there for her, and promised our relationship would not change because of what she was going through. I was in a sense her rock, not only emotionally, but spiritually.

Well, I have determined this summer its my turn to tell her of what I have been going through for most of my life. I am scared, and worried, of how she will take it. I think it will be a shock to her, as I think I'm pretty straight acting, and she knew I wanted to marry her. However I am worried of hurting her, I mean the sadness she will experience. I hope she doesn't experience it, but its a possibility. I know, or at least hope that with me being 100% honest with her, it will strengthen our friendship.

I am visiting her in a couple weeks and have determined to tell her. I just pray for the best result.


  1. Wow, this could be a big event for you both. I'm crossing my fingers and betting/hoping she will be unchanged and you'll be better friends than ever. Good luck!

  2. Quinn, I just found your blog and look forward to following your journey. You are at a pivotal time in your life, an exciting time when you have the opportunity to make changes that will affect the rest of your life.

    Regardless of the role the church plays in your life, spirituality is a core part of who we are. I encourage you to find a way to nourish that aspect of your life. I believe in maintaining balance between the physical, spiritual and emotional, we find happiness.

    Good luck,

  3. I came out to my (now ex) girlfriend and I'm so glad that I did. It was hard for the first few days, and even though we are not dating anymore, we are even better friends than we were just a few months ago. I love her so much, and she loves me. I'm glad I did it, and I hope everything goes well for you!

    PS - I just found your blog through Bravone, and I really like it!

  4. Best of luck. One never knows how someone else will react, but my experience 90% of the time has been positive. I don't mean that everyone understands, or even that they agree with all of my choices. And I don't mean that our relationships were unchanged. Rather, I have felt like they still loved and accepted me. And I have felt much better knowing that the real me is out there.

    So, my prediction is that she will still love and care about you. She might be shocked initially, and it might require some time to settle in, but I'd bet you will end up closer and more comfortable.

    That's the thing about life. I believe we have to trust a little and risk a little if we really want to be happy and have good relationships. And it's scary!